Fathers to be and the delivery

I thought I’d begin here to help all fathers to be, prepare for the delivery and because I don’t know how long you have before your new mother to be goes into labor. This is the new dads experience to delivering your child.

Arnold and Danny in the movie Junior
Arnold and Danny in the movie Junior

Now being a new dad is a wonderful beyond words experience and I always encourage all soon to be dads to be there for the birth of their child. So I’d like to re-iterate this point here and say if it is possible for you to be there for the birth of your child and if your doctor permits it then –

This is a once in a lifetime experience that you do not want to miss.

There is nothing in life that prepares you for the most amazing experience as that of witnessing your own child being born.
Although my mom says having grandchildren tops it but we’ll discuss it when we’ve crossed that bridge.

I can’t really compare it to anything else and don’t think there will ever be a bigger high than watching my son Ethan catch his first breath.

I remember our doctor asking me if I could help deliver him while I was standing by my wife’s head. So I strapped on latex gloves, looked at my wife and said to her “you ready for this.” I caught him as he made his entrance into the world and cut the umbilical cord after our doctor had clamped it.

Now, not all of us can stomach the sight of blood [I’m not talking about blood from a little wound here] so be sure you’re up for it before you go in. If you are one that can’t stand the sight of blood I would suggest that you stand by your wife’s head and coach your wife/partner through the process.

Note the key word here is “coach”. Which means you have to encourage her, remind her of her breathing [twice in once out] and stay calm.

A checklist to better prepare fathers to be for the delivery

It pays to be prepared and getting organized 1, 2 or even 3 months before the due date will help lighten the load and keep you focused on your new coaching position when the time comes.

Here is a list of things all fathers to be should remember and prepare for before and during the delivery:

  • She will be cold – so don’t forget the blanket and socks. The delivery room [CWMH Fiji Maternity Unit] was awfully cold as the air-con was very high so do be prepared for this.
  • Double check that she packed the maternity pads or be prepared to go shopping for them. What me, shop for pads? No way I’m a man. Yes! you. Be a man. Not to worry the labels are pretty clear. I must admit to my slight discomfort when throwing these in the basket the first time but that has faded over time.
  • Be prepared to rub her lower back during contractions.
    This is when the pain hits. Vigorous rubbing of the lower back helps but please don’t take the initiative. Your partner might respond differently[read the last point below to find out the end result] so ask her politely or wait for the order. This was mine…Rub my back! Rub my back! Rub my back!
  • Standing during contractions is much better than sitting.
    Again this is not the same for every woman. To quote my wife:
    “Yep coz standing soothed pain in lower abdomen. Sitting made it very uncomfortable.” I made this suggestion to an expectant first time mom when my wife was about to give birth to our youngest daughter and she found that it also helped her. So do suggest it politely and if it helps then great.
  • Stay calm and in control. Encouraging her when the time comes to push. Please note that there is a correct way to push and getting this information from your doctor beforehand will help both you and your new mom. Doing it incorrectly will leave her feeling more exhausted, something you would like to prevent because baby will be hungry once he/she has arrived and it would be good for mom to have the energy to tend to this.
  • Your new mom will be hungry after the delivery – so make sure you prepare something wholesome or organize it anyway. Warm cocoa to help with the production of breast milk and warm her stomach. Read the post on foods that help with breast milk production for ideas on what to prepare.
  • Never make a joke during the delivery or bring up something that’s totally irrelevant to the task at hand. All your new mother wants to do is get through the whole experience without having to think or worry about anything else. If you do feel the urge to be a little comical to help calm you down [not necessarily for her] I encourage you…don’t.
    The end result of this:
    If looks could kill…you’ll be slaughtered, and idiot with a capital “I” will be pasted across your forehead [hmm this guy seems to be talking from experience].
    This is the silent language of love where not a single word will be uttered but for once you won’t have any problems decoding the message.

I hope you have enjoyed this post on fathers to be and the delivery. If this caught you just before your new dad experience then I’d like to hear from you after the experience.

What was your experience like?
Share your thoughts and experience in the comments.

You may be interested in reading:
Foods that help with breast milk production
The secret ingredient to being the perfect dad

16 thoughts on “Fathers to be and the delivery”

  1. Good read and some good tips! Don’t forget the extra battery for the camera either (true story, only got 3 pics of my son’s birth because my camera died). A woman in labor is always right, do what they ask and try to reassure them is all I would add.

    1. Thank you Dad-On-The-Run for taking time out to read this post and for the extra battery reminder. How could I forget about the camera?
      Totally spot on with “A woman in labor is always right.” To all daddy’s to be, it will serve you well to take special note of this point. Ignore it at your own risk 🙂

  2. They always say there isnt a good manual on parenthood but i think your site is a pretty good alternative, especially from a Pacific perspective. Thank you for blessing people with your experience and lessons! Love to Telu & ur little ones!

  3. Be prepared….not like me on my 1st….working overtime @ work and then had to rush to CWM….was exhausted and grog dopped….coz I fainted on the sight and smell of blood.

    1. I would think being pumped up with grog would have made you immune…LOL. No! Soon to be dads, it doesn’t.
      Thank you for the tip.

  4. Excellent experience…. thanks for the initiative to share your own experience ,I hope it’ll motivate “dad to be ” and not forgetting all the dad’s out there who read your page…to take 1 step forward and follow this unforgettable experience……vinaka and God bless

  5. great work bro! very inspiring stuff,I believe that it would help so many fathers and mothers to be. Loved your experiences…Mum would have been so proud of you and probably proofreading your work…haha…Isa God bless her….Give my love to Telu and the kids! God bless you both.

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